In 2007, Algore, a man who missed being POTUS by a handful of crooked votes in the perennially crooked voting state of Florida, became the voice of Climate Change.
Standing before images of a burning Earth, Algore spewed his uninformed vitriol at the generation about to inherit the mess his generation was leaving behind.
I referred to it then as the “Scare The Kids Tour”.
The other day I watched young people from all over this planet skip school to demand solutions to Climate Change.
It reminded me of Oliver Twist, “Please, Sir, Save my planet.”
A few weeks earlier I watched as our current POTUS addressed the Midwestern freeze by asking, “What the hell is going on with Global Warming? Please come back fast, we need you!"
Kids living in fear while the leader of the free world spews his agenda driven blather is the result of Climate Crisis 1.0, Algore’s self serving crusade.
Welcome to Climate Crisis 2.0.
As we proceed, keep in mind that Algore’s father, US Senator from the Great State of Tennessee, Algore, Sr., was known far and wide as an influence peddler extraordinaire.
He was one of the crookedest US Senators ever to serve.
Armand Hammer, of Occidental Petroleum and Coal, would take Gore Sr. to events and show him off to his friends while patting himself on the wallet, as if to say, “Got this fool in my back pocket.”
Then Algore Jr., after narrowly losing a crooked Presidential election, in which he was supported by Armand Hammer, became the leading opponent of burning fossil fuels.
I told you this was strange.
And we haven’t even gotten started.
I’m a Nature guy, always have been, always will be.
Of course Climate Change is real.
It's the Natural Course Of Events.
Of course we are responsible for increasing the levels of CO2 in our atmosphere.
It too is The Natural Course Of Events.
Of course it’s a problem, a hill we have to climb.
Make a mountain out of a molehill and force everyone to climb it.
That’s what’s happening with the debate over Climate Change.
The same Natural Course Of Events leads some to create issues on which they can capitalize.
Algore made himself a multi-millionaire from Climate Crisis 1.0.
If you believe the Pols and Pundits who have jumped on the Climate Crisis bandwagon, we stand at the base of an insurmountable promontory, and only they can safely guide us to the top.
Not only that, atop this mountain is an ice cap, and it’s melting onto our heads as we begin the ascent.
The current scare tactics scream at us that our abuse of fossil fuels has altered the environment so severely that if we don’t stop immediately we’re all going to die within decades.
However, if we do stop, we’re all going to die even faster because without oil, coal, and natural gas, the big wheel stops, commerce ends, and we start starving and killing one another within weeks.
And, without petro chemicals derived from oil, there will be no electronic gadgets because they, and the packages they come in, are all made of plastic.
That petro-chemical based plastic made iphones and the like possible.
Add to that the fact that if we stop using oil for fuel, the gadgets would never get to you even if billions of them were sitting in warehouses waiting to be shipped.
Picture yourself hungrier than you’ve ever been without your iphone to call Grub Hub.
THE CLIMATE CONTROLLED FUTURE
OK, kids, you claim you’re WOKE.
Now it’s time to open your eyes.
TRUMP is a master of playing the medium, and the medium IS the message.
One of those old Chinese guys, Lao Tzu, or Sun Tzu, is credited with the idea of victory through, “Confusion to the enemy.”
TRUMP is a proponent of that outlook.
The enemy is us.
Robert Oppenheimer of Atomic Bomb fame borrowed the phrase, saying, “To the confusion of our enemies.”
TRUMP loves the Atomic Bomb and all it represents.
It’s in his DNA, as evidenced by his constant mention of his uncle at MIT.
In his addlepated mind, he has the genes for Nuclear War, innately spinning through his loopy, synaptic swirl.
As an aside, I too have the Nuclear Gene in my DNA.
My Father, Frank Smyth, was among the first men to walk into Nagasaki after the bomb was dropped, and HE went on to build several Nuclear Power plants in his lifetime.
At age 12 or so, I finally got up the nerve to ask Frank if the stories about photographic images of vaporized Japanese really appeared on walls.
His answer was, “Yes, but they were no deader than the little Japanese babies with a bullet in their head.”
We never spoke of it again.
That’s my Nuke story, so fuck you Donald, with your half assed tale about your MIT uncle!
Thankfully, back when the Cold War was in full swing, cooler heads prevailed in time to institute the concept of mutually assured destruction.
TRUMP can’t just launch one of ours for the pleasure of watching the mushroom cloud, because he too will likely die in the aftermath.
But, if and when he has nothing left to live for, be prepared to sit against the wall, bend over, curl up on yourself, and kiss your ass goodbye,as we were taught to do in the 50s.
If TRUMP can’t have his way, nobody can.
There is nothing he wants more than an excuse to let one of those suckers fly.
The NFL wouldn’t let him buy his way in so he could strut through the locker room appraising his prime stock.
Now he gets to toy with the Nuclear Football all day.
Top that you NFL motherfuckers.
Calling TRUMP a Racist is wrong.
He is an ‘Other Peopleist’.
Everybody on Earth is inferior to him, not just coloreds.
MSNBC and CNN can televise countless hours of TRUMP’s sputtering bumpkin act while chuckling into the camera at their cleverness.
One sound bite of him saying “MAGA, MAGA, MAGA” while hugging the flag for a single instant overrides all the opposition the ‘intellectual’ media can muster, because the medium is the message..
The simple act of calling yourselves The Opposition acknowledges that he is The Power.
You lose before you start with that approach.
Put down the placards, shut down the websites, close the offices of your oppo group, and ignore him for a while.
Get on with your own lives.
Make hay while the sun shines, instead of wasting your time playing into his game.
He’ll go away on his own without the constant spotlight.
It’s his life giving fuel.
Now, let’s take the above and have a look at planetary Climate Change through TRUMP’s eyes.
Ya wanna see Climate Change.
He’ll give it to in one blinding flash if you oppose him hard enough.
WOW, that is some scary, confusing crap, eh!
Confusion reigns, even if you don’t have an enemy in the world.
Enuf of that for now, you get the idea.
Back to the issue at hand, The Climate Controlled Future.
Earth’s future climate is being controlled by old men with no future.
The most dire predictions resulting from Climate Change won’t happen until after they are in their mausoleums.
These men are children of the 50s, a time when future visions depicted mankind in control of everything, while clean, safe Nuclear Power fueled our lives, and Nuclear Weapons protected us.
Climate Control was about air conditioning, not concern over damaging Earth’s environment.
Then those friggin’ Hippies came along and messed up everything.
Unless you were alive during those years you cannot imagine the schism we suffered.
The first born sons of The Greatest Generation were growing their locks like girls and dancing around naked with flowers in their hair.
Most men of The Greatest Generation went through their neatly barbered lives fully clothed.
Even their wives never saw them standing unclothed in the light of day.
It just wasn’t done.
Suddenly sex, drugs, and rock and roll blew the status quo to hell in a handbasket, turning everything upside down, and infuriating those who believed religiously in the traditional ways of life.
Those people are the parents and grandparents of TRUMP’s MAGA crew.
They’ve been teaching their grumbling, disgruntled, dissatisfied outlook to the young’uns for decades.
TRUMP looks and acts more like what they’ve been waiting for than anyone else.
He’s not perfect, but he’ll have to do for now.
That’s his genius.
He’s willing to stand there and absorb the slings and arrows for the MAGAs, while spewing his bilious drivel back at the hippie generated liberal left.
So what if he bends the law and lies through his vacant smile to enrich himself while in office.
The MAGAs would do the same if they had the balls to get off the couch.
If you think TRUMP is the first US politician to capitalize on the frustrated masses and ideological divisions in our culture, you are living in a vacuous, iphone created dreamland.
Check out video from the 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago sometime.
In many ways, today’s inflammatory rhetoric is tame by comparison.
The National Guard hasn’t recently mowed down any college students that I know of.
The Klan holds family marches and picnics, not public lynchings in the town square.
Police don’t execute no knock searches, or round up every long hair and colored person in sight on suspicion of being a threat whenever the urge moves them.
Intolerance and paranoia filled the air with the stench of fear in those days.
So cool your jets and gather your thoughts.
This is nothing new.
Today’s manifestation of intolerance and the police state happens to be in the person of “The Donald”.
He’s perfect for the job.
When John Gotti was strutting around NYC being referred to as “The Don”, TRUMP became “The Donald”, Don of all Dons.
When analyzing TRUMP’s character, and motivation, that one tells us the most.
“The Donald” and his cronies, the old men destroying our niche in the name of personal wealth and self aggrandizement, have been pissed off about the way things are going for decades.
The teeming masses have came very close to getting a leg up, feeling empowered, believing their existence is as important as that of the power elite.
Now said power elite faces the end with nothing left to lose.
Like cornered rats, they will strike back viciously, fangs bared as they spread their rabid toxins.
I guarantee there is no app for that.
Heads up, kids!
How’s that for taking an honest look at the problem?
My comment about making a mountain out of a molehill isn’t capitulation to to the moronic TRUMP point of view that says if it’s cold where you are how can there be Global Warming.
It’s a very realistic look at what we face.
Mountains and molehills, like everything else, are relative.
Climate Change is a big molehill, but it ain’t Mount Everest.
Simply put, alarmism is all agenda driven.
This outlook is nothing new.
The men who got filthy rich from Whale oil used everything at their disposal to stop the development of Petroleum lamps.
Ironically, most of those who feel that we need to stop using Petroleum products also bemoan the fate of Whales.
If those old time greed mongers, getting fat and sassy from Whale oil had their way, we would have killed them all a century ago.
Thank those who learned to light the world with coal oil and petroleum products for the survival of the Whales.
How’s that for a fly in the ointment?
Not only has the molehill become a mountain, it’s covered with slippery slopes that will find us on our butts, plummeting back to the bottom, unless we look clearly and carefully ahead at our path before climbing in any direction.
Now, let’s get together and start stopping this foolishness.
Global Stress Solution
Every day, at exactly 4:00 PM, no matter where you are, or what you are doing, stop and let out a roar.
I mean go for it.
Give it a deep, full throated AARRGHH...!
Exhale until you tingle.
Rattle your cage, shake yourself to the core, cleanse the toxins.
Then, simply go back to whatever you were doing at the time.
Imagine how great you’ll feel.
Soon, it’ll be you, and everyone else on Earth.
Time zones make 4:00 PM a Global thing.
When people in the Eastern Time Zone of USA complete their roar, those in the Central Zone have only an hour before it’s their turn, and so on.
The roar continues around the planet in an airborne ripple, all day, every day.
The atmospheric wave will diminish over the oceans because of so few people, but there are always some aboard ships, boats, planes, or on islands, so the effect will balance out and continue on around the world.
Over time, the stresses and strains of today’s world will dissipate into the upper atmosphere and be swept off into space.
Soon, the roar will become a contented hum.
Uh,oh, just thought of something.
When Humans exhale, we produce Anthropogenic CO2 ( ACO2 ).
Isn’t that what’s causing all the issues with Global Warming?
Rapidly, rhythmically, repetitively releasing the stress of worrying about Climate Change is going to surround us with even more ACO2.
Forget burning fossil fuels, breathing is the real cause of Climate Change.
We have more than doubled our population in less than a century.
This is pretty much the same period of time in which science tells us the acceleration of Global Warming has become a problem.
As population increased, we have domesticated more and more animals for food.
They too release CO2 upon exhalation.
Think about how many living, breathing critters are out there producing all that dreaded Carbon Dioxide.
During the same time frame mentioned, we have also deforested huge swaths of land, removing the primary source of Earth’s Oxygen.
I do believe I’m onto something here.
My frivolous stress relief plan, intended to make people smile, has turned into a breakthrough in understanding Global Warming.
It’s amazing how answers to our biggest problems always seem to arrive just in the nick of time.
Top this one.
All we have to do is stop breathing, greatly reduce our population, allow time for new forests to grow, go backwards a century or two, and things will be fine.
From Climate Change to Climate Strange to Climate Absurd, stress relieved and problem solved in one fell swoop.
We can all feel better now.
It’s what we do.